Cure Kevin

I had to let go of my rope yesterday. I tried with all my might, but Kev is needed for some important work. I guess he was the only one that God knew could do the job.

The cancer has weakened Kev’s body. It’s was so hard to let go of my rope and accept what is to happening in the near future. I brought Kev to the emergency room Tuesday because he had some confusion and agitation. They found out that his blood is DIC. In my less than accurate way of explaining, it cannot clot anymore and support the body. The process is happening fast we are trying to cherish every minute with him. We brought him home with hospice care and my girls are all here right now supporting each other, helping us, and crying too.

Yes, this is the one entry I wish I didn’t have to write. Kev really cannot write for himself now, but he would say that he lived with cancer with dignity and fight and a little joking too. He touched so many people with his willingness to serve and help. We found he had a little talent for writing too. I was honored to be by his side as we worked together in our marriage, raising four wonderful daughters, and serving the Lord in any capacity we could.

We will keep you posted with his changes. My deepest gratitude to all who used your thoughts and prayers for good because he did so well surviving as long as he has. We have all witnessed miracles and I hope Kev’s example will help you love your family a little deeper and have gratitude for the little things in life. With much love and devotion to all of you……Melanee 

We have been getting quite a few phone calls asking how Dad has been doing so I think it’s time for a little update.

Dad is in the hospital again. He was really dizzy, getting really weak and mentally not quite there for a few days so my mom decided to bring him in even though it seems like he just got out. He hasn’t improved much, at least mentally, but the fluids are improving his kidney functions and hopefully his strength.

He’s still there,I don’t know when he’s getting out or why he’s dizzy or confused,although it might just be dehydration. Mom should know more information. She’s been staying with him at the hospital while Mallory and I have been home. I definitely don’t like not being there but in this case it’s probably better since school’s going on and such.  

I never knew just how much dehydration could affect the body. Make sure you drink your water or there could be some serious malfunctions going on, like having your kidneys funtioning at a much lower level than they should be. That’s my word of advice for the day.

Thank you for all of your concern and support. It really does mean a lot.

~Marlene

Don’t wait to say “I love you”. Don’t think that just ’showing’ it is enough. Say it today, and actually get to know your family members. They’re more than just a brother or sister or whatever relative they are to you. It might be surprisingly enlightening. That is all.

~Marlene

We are in full swing trying to fight this battle. Kev’s body seems to be getting a one-two punch more and more these past weeks. We went to our usual appointment ready to talk more strategies and his body is not cooperating. The regular blood work was done and the oncologist was concerned with the white blood count being up and the liver functions not at their best. He didn’t want to start the new mix till he had more information. He sent us to the ER and was admitted for a few more tests. We were there for a little over a day, answers were found and they sent us home to start the new mix.

Kev was a little uneasy starting it, with no medical supervision, it’s a pill. He had visions of his allergic reaction to the taxotere still in his mind. So, we took another trip to the cancer center and took the pill and hung out in case there was another reaction. He did well and went home to rest.

Our granddaughter Anya is visiting us this weekend. The first thing she said to Kev when we got back from the hospital is. “Hi Grandpa, Are you okay?” We giggled, but realized she is in tune. The girls are here helping. They insisted on moving our bedroom downstairs so Kev doesn’t have to climb the stairs anymore. They also went to get cake samples for Mallory’s wedding cake today. We are getting all the plans accomplished for her wedding. They are going well because Mallory is so organized.

I was also thinking that yesterday, a year ago, is when the symptoms started to appear. Kev couldn’t keep food down starting the Friday before Memorial Day and here we are. In reality I consider him a one year pancreatic cancer survivor. But, he was officially hospitalized June 23 and diagnosis was made June 30. This has been quite a battle we have been fighting and I am ready, willing, and able to fight. I stand with conviction and determination to do all I can to support my husband in this as he goes through the physical and mental war that he has been waging for a year now.

Each of you has been a part of this battle. I picture all of us on a huge field with our armor, shields, and swords. You are surrounding us  and using your swords to slay this beast. All of you have done so much for us which has given us the strength to fight and help Kev keep this beast at bay.

Ok, I know I reminded you about Relay’s fundraising already( and I thank those who have so generously contributed already) but there’s one more bit of information that I left out.

As part of the Luminaria Ceremony(with a key speaker on someone’s cancer story and musical numbers, a picture slide show, etc-very touching) you can order Luminaries. Luminaries are little paper bags with tea lights in them (wax coated to prevent fires) that have the name of either a cancer survivor or a cancer victim on the bag. The bags honor those people who have fought such a great battle and they also help to fund Relay for Life. Each bag is $5 and although it doesn’t contribute to my particular team, that money still goes towards the American Cancer Society.

If you’re interested you can download the order form from here http://www.cheshirerelay.org/Forms/RelayLuminaria.pdf  fill it out and either mail it to the address on there or give it to me. All check contributions (luminaries and team contributions) are made to American Cancer Society.

I think it would be nice to see Dad’s name as I walk the track.

Kev and I took another trip to the ER this past Tuesday evening. Kev’s pain had increased and had shortness of breath. The pain moved to his chest area and it felt the same as when he had the blood clot.We arrived about midnight. As he was getting his tests one ER staff member said “You look familiar” I said we should look familiar because you have helped us the past three ER visits since January. They ruled out anything with the heart,the blood clot was resolved and watched Kev for 24 hours. They sent us home on Thursday morning with no answers on why he still has the pain. I am sure we will find out Monday when we see our oncologist.

We were finished in the ER about 4:30 am and Kev was transported to a hospital room for observation. The routine is the covering doctor or resident meets with us and asks the regular questions.  Can you tell me what your original diagnosis is? Answer: Pancreatic Cancer. Do you smoke? answer: No, Do you drink?  answer: No, Do you have a family history of Pancreatic Cancer? answer: No.
The doctor who asked these same questions to us was sincere and compassionate in his statement after he heard our answers he said, ” I am so sorry God did this to you.” He said this to each one of us and took our hand in both his hands. He really felt bad for us. I wished I had said something after he made that comment because the doctor was sincere, but I wanted to point out that I don’t agree. It was 4:30 in the morning and I was numb and unable to organize my thoughts.

I really don’t feel that God did this to us. Through all of this I have not been angry nor blaming God for what we are going through. God is loving and merciful. Our world was created for us to use for different purposes in our life, so we can live in beauty and have the bounties of the earth to sustain us. I know God knew what we were about to experience and put together the people and support systems around us to help make us get through our journey.

For me the statement should be, “I am so sorry for what man has done to you.” Because people and companies have not been good stewards of our earth and have polluted the sky, water, and land or made products that are harmful.  Man did not think of the consequences of decisions that were made that would effect mankind.

Or the doctor could have said, “I am sorry for being born in a family with the genetic disposition for pancreatic cancer” We don’t think this statement is true for us, but there are other families who have to deal with it.

So, I feel bad I could not have a heart to heart discussion about his statement because I think he would have a wider understanding of Kev and I and the new life we live.

I’d just like to remind you all that I’m still fundraising for the Relay for Life event which raises money for the American Cancer Society. You can donate online through this link   

https://www.kintera.org/faf/donorReg/donorPledge.asp?ievent=190342&supId=172043653   or see me if you’d rather pay by cash or check. So far I have $200 and my goal is to have $500 by June 5.

Thank you for your support.

~Marlene

We were so glad that our oncologist allowed Kev to go to Utah to see our daughter and son-in-law graduate along with lots of Webster family celebrations. Kev’s bloodwork looked good and said we were good to go.  I borrowed a wheelchair from my place of employment which was the best thing I did. We switched airlines and had to go to another terminal in Denver. The wheelchair moved faster than the people mover. We were booking and Kev just came for the ride. We loved being with our daughters Ashley, her husband Pat, Mallory, and her fiance Wendell and Marlene. They came and visited us at our hotel while Kev rested. Marlene even got a taste of BYU life by witnessing Mallory’s roommate announce that she just got engaged.

As I waited for Mallory to get her cap and gown, memories just flooded in my mind because this is where Kev and I met. We walked many halls and sidewalks together. I drove by the park where we had our first kiss. Mallory lives next door to the complex that Kev lived in when I met him. I pointed out to the girls which apartment he lived in. We drove by the apartment complex I lived in and also where he proposed to me. I can’t believe it’s almost 27 years ago when these significant events occurred.

The graduations went well. Kev did not make the main convocation due to the amount of time he would have to be there. Vice President, Dick Cheney, was the main speaker and we had to go through security two hours before it started. So we arrived about 1 pm for the 4 pm program. There was entertainment and snacks for all to make the wait easier. We were able to make the college convocations the next day. Because Kev had a wheelchair we were able to sit up front and Mallory passed by us after she received her diploma. I felt very lucky that we got a close up picture and a hug. We were able to do the same for Pat also. Wheelchairs have their perks. Yet, I noticed that Kev was getting more tired than usual and having a hard time sustaining through the programs. We left after Pat’s graduation and rested in the hotel while the kids did some things.

That evening Kev said that another abscess has appeared. He said it wasn’t too bad and he hoped to get through the trip without having to do anything till we got home. Well, the next morning he was in quite a bit a pain so we had to forgo our neice’s wedding and take a trip to the ER. They lanced it and  gave Kev some IV antibiotics and we were in the hotel within four hours. Kev felt good enough to attend our neice’s wedding reception that night. We were able to see family and friends we have not seen in years. We also got a chance to be with Kev’s family which was wonderful.

The next day the Webster family filled three pews in the church to witness and participate in another niece’s baby’s blessing. Baby Natale wore the blessing dress I made her Mom when she was blessed 24 year ago. We did family pictures and socialized for a while. Then Kev and I went back to the hospital to get another IV antibiotic, had dinner at Kev’s sister’s home along with his parents in Salt Lake City and hopped on the plane that evening.

Then we got home at 5 am and slept the entire day. Whew!! We were so blessed to be able to go.  Kev got to be with his parents and sisters and nieces and nephews.  Our girls had a chance to be together again and we were able to witness a proud accomplishment for our daughter and son-in-law.

Now we are in the middle of trying to get the right chemo mix since he was allergic to the last one. We will find out Monday what the plans are. I have also had to change my lifestyle a little bit and ask for help in certain situations. I find that Kev needs a little more support from me so I am going to have to forgo doing everything myself.  So, I have made a small list. Then I have made a very hard step for me to do and ask for help (sometimes).

Now cancer has become “Just one of those things” that’s part of daily life. Dad doesn’t feel good, we go to the hospital, don’t sleep for a few days and come home. It’s just one of those things. You face it, hopefully figure out a solution,(if not then  you just deal with it), carry it out and move on. As I have learned time and time again, it’s not worth considering every part of a Cancer Life the end of the world because it’s “just one of those things” a bit like breaking your arm or doing badly on a test or not getting that promotion, etc.

Formula for living with “Just one of those things”

1.Figure out what the issue is 

2. Face it dead on with a generous supply of faith, prayer, and spiritual renewal

3.Try and fix it(If this cannot be done then suck it up and trudge while still trying to figure out another solution)

Note: This is where your support network comes in, including all of the “If there’s anything I can do”’s and the prayers said on your behalf.

4. Once a solution or semi-solution has been met, move on. and be sure to show appreciation toall those included in steps 1-4.

Note: Faith, prayer and fasting(for those healthy enough) is included in all of these steps.

Yeah I’m being repetitive, I know, but this seems to be a super abbreviated version of what works for us. Why am I not wallowing in misery or hating every bit of heaven, earth, and anything related to cancer? Well-it’s just one of those things that you just deal with.

~Marlene

Well, we headed off to the Cancer Clinic today to see if we could make my new chemo work with a different mix of pre-meds; a mix that’s worked well in the past for patients that have had the same reaction that I had.

They started the Taxotere flow and at almost exactly the same dosage as yesterday, the pain in my back hit again. Luckily, everyone was waiting and they had all the stuff they needed to counter-act the reaction at hand. I only had to put up with the pain for a few minutes while we waited for the drugs to kick in, so it wasn’t too bad.

The doctors are going to put their heads together this week to come up with some ideas and will present them to us next Monday to see where we go from here. At this point, I have no idea what’s next, so we’re in a holding pattern again. It is nice to have a rest from the chemo, though. I wonder how long its going to be before my body gets back to normal!