Cure Kevin

This is the latest update for Kev. He had an ultrasound Wednesday and he is scheduled for an ERCP Monday morning at 8:30 a.m. This test examines the ducts to see what is going on. They will check to see if the liver is affected by the chemo, virus, or cancer. If there is any blockage the doctors can also put a stint in. This is a routine procedure when symptoms of jaundice appear. I noticed a slight yellowing in Kev’s eyes on Monday. Now his yellowing is more pronounced and we are hoping this test and procedure will alleviate it. He has more pain, but has been managing it with medication.

Please do not be alarmed at this time. Kev is still caring for himself and can physically move around the house. He is still the same guy we all know and love. We just ask for your prayers as always. We hope to have the answers after Monday and we are ready to have this situation solved and ready to keep fighting.–Melanee

ps: I need to write something about riding our roller coaster…….

ps: We are also glad it is Conference weekend because we can sit back a relax and listen to the talks and counsel given us with weekend. Kev also has been asked to speak at church on Easter Sunday. He also taught the children two Easter songs to sing that day. Leah, Ed, and Anya are coming up for Easter weekend too. I know the Lord will strengthen him. He has more to do.

~Melanee

When I saw the news conference announcing that Senator Edwards’ wife’s cancer has come back and Senator Edwards was going on with his campaign–I could relate. First my heart goes out to their family because the ups and downs can really take a toll. Yet, they have the courage to continue the journey and cope with cancer. I totally understand the decision he made to continue his campaign and his wife’s support in him doing so. He will know when it is time to not continue.

Our first discussion after Kevin’s diagnosis was we were not going to stop working and continue on with a normal life as closely as a can. There is something comforting with doing day-to-day tasks and schedules that keeps life “normal.” Our days are filled with our jobs, church callings, doctor and dentist appointments, pharmacy visits, grocery shopping, choral concerts, play performances, visits with friends and families, planning a wedding, buying a prom dress, homework projects, dog sitting, household chores and repairs, and the list goes on. This list is everything we did before cancer affected us. Life does not stop living when there is a cancer diagnosis.

Yet, I totally know others with pancreatic cancer are not even given the chance to live a somewhat normal life because it hits too fast and their loved one is gone before they know it. Pancreatic cancer is no respector of persons. It can hit anyone at anytime of their life. I have deep feelings for all who have to suffer through this because we live it too. HOPE is the word we cling to each day.

We are looking at nine months of living. We have lots of hope for the next three months and then some. Now I must go and continue on with my day-to-day tasks and enjoy every minute that we are blessed with.

~ Melanee

Well, today was supposed to be a chemo day. After sitting in the Cancer Center for about four hours, we finally saw the doctor. It turns out that my liver functions were a bit high and they didn’t want to risk damaging my liver with more chemo, especially a new mix. It could just be that my liver needs a break from the chemo, I may have an infection going on, the cancer may be doing something new to me…. its really hard to tell right now.

So… we wait a couple of days. I head in for blood work on Tues. to see how my liver is doing. If things are settling out, then I’ll head back in for my new chemo mix next Thurs. If the liver functions are still out of whack, we’ll do some more tests (blood work, MRI, that kind of stuff) to see if we can get a handle on what’s going on.

In any event, we’re still plodding along. The doctor is real careful about not making the cure worse than the disease.

Well, we got the call from the doctor with Friday’s CAT Scan results…not good. The tumors are on the march and have started growing again. The doctor didn’t mention if there were more tumors, but he did say that the ones that were there have grown.

We meet with the doctor this coming Thurs. (my normal chemo day) and we’ll talk strategy. He still has several options, so we’re all hopeful and trying to be as postitive as we can. We’re just looking for the right chemo mix that will keep the tumors at bay… we’re getting closer. In the mean time, we just keeping praying for success and appreciate your prayers more and more each day.

My next CAT Scan was scheduled for next Tues., but this past week, I’ve been having some weird pains in my lower back (and my tumor markers went ballistic), so the Doc wants to take a look at things a bit early. We’re on the schedule for 3:00 this afternoon. Normally, I wouldn’t be too worried, but we have this monster snow storm headed our way this weekend and both Melanee and I are a bit worried that the snow may put a crimp in getting an early CAT Scan done. Of course, it will give us a chance to see how the Subaru handles in the snow! I’ve never driven an all-wheel-drive vehicle in the snow before… should be fun.

And for some reason, Mel and I are a bit apprehensive about this scan. I don’t know if it’s because of the changes I’m seeing in my body, or if its just stress added on because of all the other things that are going on in our life, but, even though we haven’t talked to each other about it much, I can tell that she’s as worried as I am about this one. Well, we should know by tonight if our fears are founded or not.

to Rip Van Winkle! I don’t know what it is lately, but I just seem to want to sleep all the time, especially after Chemo. This past weekend (a chemo weekend), I spent nearly all day Saturday and Sunday sleeping. At one point, Melanee’s sister Rachel and her boyfriend came over to visit. We’re all talking, laughing, and having a great time; next thing you know, Kevin’s sound asleep! And it’s one of those deep sleeps where I’m asleep through loud laughing and talking.

There are times when I’m working on my computer here at home and next thing you know, I’ve nodded off, mid-sentence! I have no idea what’s making me so sleepy, but I do know that it’s really the only side effect from the chemo and, for that, I’m very greatful. If all I have to do is take a nap a bit more often to get through this, then I think I can handle it.

Never thought cancer would be part of our lives. We have no control over it so we have changed our lives to deal with it. Our lives have slowed down because there is a fatigue factor. Any outside activity must be thought of carefully to see if Kevin can do it. We also must plan rest time in between that. We are planning to attend our daughter’s and son -in- law’s graduation with many family events planned with that. So, in our plans we have included rest time. We over did it in Miami and I see where I have to adjust our travel plans.

Dealing with cancer at home means different food preparation. Pancreatic cancer affects the digestive system so certain foods can be uncomfortable for him. We eat fish and small amounts of chicken. We avoid beef because Kev always felt uncomfortable after eating it. I have learned to make a lot of dishes with different beans. This way I have been using my food storage regularly. I have been going to the grocery store and actually looking at the different spices, fruits, and vegetables. I also try to buy organic food. The food seems to have more flavor and hopefully less chemicals since he has so many in his body now. The grocery clerk commented on all the healthy foods I have been buying. This has given me great pleasure when Kev can eat the meal and be satisfied and comfortable after the meal. Different foods I have used are sweet potato, pink beans, white beans, black beans, bok choy, mustard greens, turnip greens, ginger, kiefer, flax seed, blackberries, blueberries, strawberries. ( I make a really good smoothie with kiefer or yogurt and all the fruit) I want to start using lentils as my next challenge. I am in the mood for a good split pea soup too. I also use whole wheat bread. I make biscuits and corn bread too. Are you hungry yet?

Dealing with emotions can be challenging. We have mostly been positive even though we have our moments. Our faith and beliefs play a very strong part and has prepared us for this. We would not know how to handle this experience without it. There are so many emotions that run through my mind. First there is shock, then anxiety, then you ask all the what if’s…if I did this he wouldn’t have cancer. Sadness occasionally takes over. Some people experience anger. We rarely do. I only get angry with certain situations that negatively impact our life. As a caregiver I feel like I am living a careful balancing act trying to accomplish all I can physically and emotionally do. I rely on the spirit to help me with guidance and comfort along the way.

Kev gives me great comfort and support also. I can’t count how many times we tell each other “I love you” everyday. I tell him, “I’m glad I have him today.” This experience has allowed us to feel the sweetness of life and all it’s blessings. We don’t take life for granted anymore. We appreciate every moment.

Dealing with cancer can be different with each person, but we walk a similar path.

One thing that is sweet is our third daughter Mallory has announced her engagement. A June 2007 wedding is being planned. The next four months are full of wonderful events for our family( and rest-time in between). June is significant in that Kev will be a one-year pancreatic cancer survivor. What a wonderful way to celebrate!