Cure Kevin

Now you have proof for how I have been treated all the years we have been married. That’s why you hear no complaints from me about what I need to do for him now. Both of us have given to each other 100%. The entry made me cry and hug him even harder today.

I remember the day I met him. I took an 117R Movie Appreciation Class at Brigham Young University. This was a class I thought would be fun to take with all my general education classes. There was a three- hour lab where we would watch classic movies in an auditorium. We happen to sit next to each other and I over heard a conversation he was having with the other girl next to him. He said he was from Virginia. I thought to myself, ”Yes, another easterner!” I craved for someone to be from the east because he could understand the culture shock I was going through. We talked quite a bit after that and my heart went a pitter- patter and was hoping to see him next week. He was in my thoughts through the week and couldn’t wait to see him the next week during our movie lab. I couldn’t remember what he looked like, but knew I would recognize him when I saw him.

I went to the class and he walked toward me and there he was. We said our hellos and I was hooked. We sat next to each other for six weeks till he had enough courage to ask me on a date. I almost lost hope on the sixth week. You didn’t ask boys out on dates then. Am I old fashioned or what? Here is where I put the clique in….Now the rest is history.

I would not change anything that we have experienced in our life. And that holds true to what we are experiencing right now. We were meant to be together. I thank God everyday that I am his eternal companion.—Melanee

I have the world’s greatest nurse; I really do. She keeps track of my medication, picks up refills when I need it, fixes me meals that keep me going, and cheers me up when I need it most. My Nurse is always happy and positive and keeps me that way too. She doesn’t complain when I’m so tired I become a lethargic slug stuck in front of the TV. She’s always a part of my chemo treatments and discussions with the doctors; she always researching the internet and other cancer patients to see if there’s something that can be done to improve my condition. She truly is the world’s greatest nurse.

You may also have figured out by now that my “nurse” is also my wife. She’s not really a nurse by trade, but she takes care of me as if she were. I’ve often said that I don’t know how I would handle my cancer without her, and I really mean it. Most of the time I have so little energy that I just don’t move and she makes sure I have what I need. She’ll show up with a energy and calorie packed smoothie to keep me going; she’ll wrap me with a blanket when I’m freezing to death; she’ll come home from work with a smile and hug that lifts my spirits more than anything else. There’s nothing she won’t, or hasn’t done to make me more comfortable as I battle my Cancer Demon.

I know this is hard for her to see me waste away while there’s nothing we can do but follow doctor’s orders and hope things are working as expected. I know that she gets worried and depressed, but doesn’t show it. She runs the whole house, fixing meals, cleaning, doing the ever present bills; life doesn’t stop just because I can’t keep up. It is amazing to see her keep our life on track while being my nurse and keeping me going as well.

I thank God every day that he put her in my path and that we have the relationship that we have. I think to find a truly eternal companion these days is pretty rare, and not only have I found a true companion, but also a best friend and, especially now, the world’s greatest nurse.

There’s a section on the Farmington River that runs from just north of Riverton down to Satan’s Kingdom in New Hartford. Its tucked away in the north-west part of the state and has become one of our favorite fall runs. There’s a couple of fast water sections that keep us awake, but other than that, it’s a very quiet and extremely beautiful section of the river. Scott, my paddling partner, and I were hoping to run that section this weekend, probably as my last time on the water. Unfortunately, the cards just didn’t land in our favor.

I was hoping for a bit warmer weather this weekend so the air would be a bit warmer and I wouldn’t have to bundle up as much; its only going to be in the low 60’s… strike one. I was hoping for a lot less neuropathy this chemo treatment; its even worse this time around and I can hardly hold things that have been in the fridge, much less a paddle immersed in 60 degree water… strike two. I was hoping for a string of warm days to get the water temperature up a bit, but right now, it’s probably mid- to low-60’s (it may even be as cold as the upper 50’s). Again, with my neuropathy, water that cold just ain’t gonna cut it… strike three. I get to sit at home this weekend.

Now that I have to officially put the boats away for the winter, a bigger problem is starting to appear; I need a cold weather hobby! I used to kayak until it got way to cold to go out, and then I’d do a little bit of hiking, but I don’t think either of those are in the cards for this winter.

One of the things I’ve always thought I’d like to try to do is to learn to paint. Some of you may remember Bob Ross, the afro-sporting guy on PBS that always had the “happy trees”. I’ve always been impressed by how easy he could create a painting in 30 minutes and figured it can’t be that hard, right? I’ve just about convinced myself to get one of his starter kits and see if I can teach myself to paint. At least I can do that in the warmth of the house and not have to worry about my fingers freezing off! I’ll let you know what I decide and how I make out with my very own “happy little trees”!

Well, Weekend #2 for my new chemo mix is over and I’ve just about survived it! Like past weekends, I was really tired and ended up sleeping a lot of it away (I’m still having long mid-day naps, though). Sunday, I was only able to make the first meeting at church and came home and crashed before church had finished. I felt bad I couldn’t help out with the kids, but it just wasn’t going to be!

I’ve had some interesting new side effects this time, too. My calfs have been really tight; almost like I’ve been out running or something. I’m not sure if its the chemo, my naturopathic mix, or just because I haven’t moved around much, but its odd. I’ve stopped my naturopathic stuff for a couple of days to see if that changes my muscle tightness… we’ll have to see how it works out.

I’m still freezin’ too. Its even worse now because the weather outside is getting colder, and I think the neuropathy is accumulative, too. I touch cold stuff in the ‘fridge and I feel pins and needles shoot through my hands; its not much fun! The girls did get me a wonderful birthday gift too help me out… a box of gloves, hats, sweat shirts, and slippers. Man, they keep me toasty warm around the house! It was the PERFECT gift for me, especially this time of year.

Its going to be interesting to see how I hold out as the weather gets colder and my neuropathy gets worse. Before long, I’ll be hauling a wood stove around with me, just to keep from freezing to death! Its a good thing computers generate heat.

Well I finally got the chance to come and submit my side of the story. Unlike my sisters, I have been here with my dad seeing the day-to-day experiences of what’s going on. This was the hardest when we first found out about his cancer and such, especially in the time between when he was hospitalized and when we found out that the mysterious mass was cancer. It was so hard that I couldn’t even tell people what was going on. I could talk about the blood clot and such but that wasn’t the main reason I was so upset. I have my good days and my bad days. Like Leah, I have my “It happens” theory, but I also have my “It happens but it stinks…a lot” I’m like Ashley in a sense where I’m more dreary when I think of time frames and stuff like that. It was really hard to hear that my father’s life would be measured in months now, instead of the years that I had been planning on, it’s hard to even think of next year for me. A lot of things remind me of his condition and the uncertainty of the future, especially at school when I don’t have much to think about because it’s hard to focus on school anymore. I pray with all my heart that we get more time with Dad but it’s hard to actually believe that. I try and be strong for my parents because I know that they are already going through so much and I don’t want to make it any harder-even though I know they want to help. My mother is a superwoman in how she can handle everything that’s put on her. I hope I’ll be able to be that strong someday. For now, I’m just going to pray and rely on God and those who love me most to get through this. They’re the reason I’m doing as well as I am.

One thing that I have loved is all the service people have given us. All the meals made and the help in moving furniture and other such things have made more of a difference than they could ever know. There have been so many nights where I expected to eat leftovers or something because we all were so tired, only to find that someone brought over a fresh, hot meal. Or when the men come over to move furniture when we would never have been able to do it ourselves, and the young men mowing our lawn and such has made such a difference. Our grass would be about 3 feet tall if not for them.
Thank you to everyone who has been there for us. It has really boosted our morale significantly.

~Marlene

One of the activities that they offer at Melanee’s work is Tai Chi for the residences. It’s low impact and helps the elderly folks get some good exercise. When I started my chemo treatments I also started getting really weak and not able to get out and do as much as I wanted to. It was then than Melanee thought that Tai Chi might do me good as well; so we signed up for a class in the local Adult Ed program.

We had our first class last Thurs. I do have to say that the teacher is very qualified. She’s a middle-aged oriental woman who’s been involved in Martial Arts since she was three years old and you could tell by the way she moved that she knew what she was doing. The class had a really slow start while we tried to work out some administrative stuff (but having taught Adult Ed classes, that’s pretty normal), but finally got to spend about 35 minutes being introduced to Tai Chi.

I have to say that it’s very relaxing. The teacher is very good at making sure your posture is good and that you have the technique right before you move on. I expected to be more tired than I was at the end of the night, but again, not so. I’ll be very interested to see how things work out along the way and if my strength keeps up between treatments. If nothing else, its a good way for me to get back into some form of Martial Arts without having to worry about it being high impact!

Melanee wrote how I seemed to have a lot more energy the past couple of days; very true and, like Mel, I’m not sure if it’s the Naturopath’s potions or just my chemo cycle. My energy level made me think that I really was ready for a good day at work on Wednesday.

Well, let me tell you, I discovered the drain plug for all that energy and it’s called W-O-R-K! I did really well getting there at my regular time, getting my work done, and doing the normal work-day stuff. I usually leave a bit early (sometime before 2:00 if I can), but Wednesday I had a meeting that kept me there until about 3:00 and I think staying that late did me in. I got home and felt really lethargic and tired and ended up falling asleep a bit before dinner. I woke up long enough to eat, then fell right back asleep and stayed that way all night. All that energy that I had stored up was gone, and on a day before chemo, I’m not sure that was a good idea!

After my chemo treatment on Thurs, I was still pretty tired and ended up sleeping the evening away there, too. We’ll have to see how this affects my energy this weekend; I guess I just need to be a bit more careful on how I spend my energy around chemo time.

Just wanted to let everyone know how Kevin is doing today. I don’t know if it was the wonderful events we experienced from Sunday meetings, birthday party, and NYC trip, or the chemo effects wearing off, or the natropath’s remedies, but he is doing really well today. He got up early like he has done for years. He has not been able to get up early for awhile. He left for work at 7:30 am. This comforted me tremendously because I had my regular Kevin back for one day. He goes for his next chemo treatment tomorrow so his routine will change again. I know! It’s the many, many prayers that have been on his behalf. Thank you everyone for this one wonderful day where I get to see his strength return.–Melanee

One of the things I’m trying to do is keep my blog focused on my cancer and how I deal with it, so I’m almost reluctant to make a post about our trip to New York City. But, it was very therapeutic and if it wasn’t for my cancer, we may not have made the trip at all, so I guess I have justification for talking about it here!

First off, let me tell you it was a WONDERFUL day. It was very relaxing, we had a wonderful time, and everything went off according to plan. Gus, the limo driver, showed up about 10:00 and we loaded up for the ride into The City. Melanee and I both napped a bit and commented we should have used this method a long time ago to get into New York! It’s nice to be able to stretch out and let someone else worry about driving!

We had reservations at Tavern on the Green for 12:00 and got there right on time. Gus dropped us off and we got a table in the out-door area. For those of you not familiar with Tavern on the Green, its a very upscale restaurant right in Central Park in New York and a great place to spend $100 for lunch. It’s been in lots of movies, but the one that sticks in my mind is Ghost Busters, where Rick Moranis is running from the dog-like demon and ends up plastered up against the glass at a very nice restaurant…. that’s Tavern on the Green. The food was fabulous; Melanee had a roast duck salad with a shrimp cocktail appetizer and I had pork tenderloin medallions with a salad; both excellent meals. We finished things off with a nice raspberry sorbet.

After lunch, we took a nice carriage ride around Central Park. The weather was perfect, the park wasn’t very crowded at all, and our driver was just talkative enough to make the trip interesting, but not to be overbearing. We took the “long ride” and it was very relaxing. I think its hard to find “relaxing” in New York, but this did the trick!

Our final plans were to go the top of the Empire State Building, but as we drove by, we could see that the line to get in was out the door and it was getting close to rush hour, so we decided to cut our losses and head home. Gus drove us around a bit more and showed us some sights; we stopped at a very good bagel shop for a dozen bagels, and then headed home. Again, an uneventful trip with some napping along the way.

Both Melanee and I felt completely rejuvenated after we got back. With all the days of worrying about chemo, naps, energy levels, and all the other stuff that goes along with fighting cancer on a daily basis, it was nice to not have to worry about that and to be able to concentrate on each other and the events of the day. To all those who helped make this happen, you have no idea how much we appreciate your generosity; it was mind-boggling when Melanee told me about the trip and it’s mind boggling now as I think about our time in the city. Again, Thank You will never be enough to express our gratitude for your love.

Sunday night we had a get together with family and friends to celebrate my birthday. It was a simple, yet crowded affair (our house isn’t designed for entertaining a LOT of people!). One of the first groups to arrive was Melanee’s brother Brad and his family. When His six-year-old daughter Grace saw my newly trimmed hair cut, she gave me her impish grin and asked “What’s wrong with your head?” Feeling a bit smart-aleky I responded “What’s wrong with your head?!”.

I realized after the night was over that I never did answer her question and that I was probably a bit rude in the way that I addressed her question, and a legitimate question at that.

So, Grace, let me apologize for the way I responded to your question and I’ll see if I can answer it for you here. I don’t know if your parents have told you or not, but I’m pretty sick with cancer. Cancer is a pretty bad disease and its really hard to make people better from it, especially the kind I have. The doctors are tying to make me better by giving me some really strong drugs, hoping that these drugs will get rid of the cancer I have. One of the problems with these drugs is that it makes your hair fall out! So, assuming you’re talking about my hair, that’s what’s wrong with my head!

And for the rest of you, thanks for letting me take time out to answer her question. As I’ve mentioned in previous posts, I think its important that we be honest when kids have questions and I forgot that philosophy last night.