Cure Kevin

Before my back surgery and cancer, I loved to go kayaking. It didn’t matter if it was whitewater, out in the ocean, or floating lazily down a river somewhere. Since my back surgery, though, I haven’t really been in my boat (well, we went out twice early this spring, but it hardly counts).

I finally felt strong enough to see how well I’d do out in my boat, so yesterday my paddling buddy, Scott, and I headed for the quiet Bantam River in the north-west part of the state. We chose this because we could make the trip as long or as short as we wished (in case I pooped out sooner than I thought I would) and its a very calm river; more like a long lake.

The day was absoultely perfect, there were very few people on the water when we got there (not so when we were leaving, though; this was a very popular spot), and I did really well. I didn’t have any real fatigue while we were paddling along and was able to keep the pace I wanted to. I took a LOT of water so I could keep hydrated and that seemed to help a lot too.

Once we got home, though, that’s when my body told me we need to take it easy for a while! I ended up taking a 2 1/2 hour nap and then got to bed by about 8:30 PM. Yeah, I was whipped! My goal, though, is to start exercising a bit each day and build my strength back up. I haven’t been on the treadmill in months and, as I mentioned, its been nearly a year since I’ve been out on my kayak on a regular basis. But kayaking didn’t completely wipe me out, so there’s still plenty of hope! Just have to take is nice and slow; don’t want to get too tired all at once.

Today was my first day back in the office in over six weeks… wow, I can’t believe its actually been that long! I could have stayed home and worked from home, in fact when I checked in with my boss, that was one of the first things he said, “Don’t feel like you have to come in to work.” Its great to have understanding management!

There were a lot of “Hello’s” and people saying it’s good to have me back (and it was good to be back, too). Other than that, it was just another typical day in the office. I started getting a bit tired about 1:00 and told my boss that I was going to head out and finish working from home. He was fine with that and about 2:00 I came home, took a short nap and finished up what I was working on.

I think being back in the office is good; it brings me back to a bit of that “normallcy” that I had two months ago. I’m not sure I’ll go in every day (especially on days when I have lab work and treatments), but I’ll go in as often as I can and stay as long as I can. I think getting back into the routine of “early to bed, early to rise” will be good for me too. I’m sure that it will help keep my mind active and concentrating on life in general.

Today was my first blood test since I’ve had my chemo treatment. From the results of the test, it looks like everything is on track. My white blood cell count was down a bit, but that’s expected with any kind of chemo treatment. The Case Nurse, Elin (pronounce “Ellen”) says I look really well and that I’m responding great to the treatment.

She did ask if my hair had “started to thin yet”, so I assume that I’ll be sporting a new hair style in a couple of weeks. Sometimes its what they don’t say that says the most!

Last fall, long before my cancer was even a remote nightmare, we made plans for our whole family to get together and share in some “quality family time”. With kids scattered thousands of miles away from each other, this is always a big event for our family and usually only happens a couple of times a year. We were all looking forward to the time together and spending a couple of days in up-state New York relaxing and seeing the sights.

When we found out about my cancer, this event became an even bigger deal, especially for me. Nothing seems to help heal a wounded spirit more than to have your kids and grandkids around and that was exactly what happened. To have all the girls and the son-in-laws around and to see them come together as if they had been together all year was wonderful therapy for me.

Now, after frantic hours of packing, trips to various airports around the area, and tearful hugs goodbye, the kids are all gone. Once again, the house is quiet and the late-night laughter has died away. I miss them all already; especially when the “dark place” in my mind rears its ugly head and reminds me that I may not see them again (but those thoughts aren’t allowed to linger very long, trust me!). There’s nothing like my cancer and having the kids around to remind me just how precious these moments are. This week will keep me going for a long time to come.

I guess the best way to start out is to bring everyone up to speed on what’s happened over the past week or so. You can read “How It Started” in the Pages section for the Big Picture, but for now, here’s the Week In review.

I started my Chemo therapy last Tues (July 18) and all went very smooth… except for when they put the IV in. Let me back up just a bit; the week before I had a “Port-a-Cath” put in my chest so that there would be a reliable place to put in my chemo and add IV medication. Its just under my right collar bone and right now is ugly and bruised, but getting better. Now, I know we’ve all had blood work done before, or maybe even an IV put in your arm and the nurse always says “OK…Little Pinch”, right? Well, my nurse didn’t say that (and this should have been my first warning). She got the IV line ready, scrubbed my Port with a disinfectant soap and said “Take a deep breath”… and then drove what felt like a railroad spike through my chest! MAN! I was NOT ready for that! She calmly told me that the first time is always the worst, and I sure hope she’s right!

After that, the treatment was just a matter of hanging around for several hours. I brought my laptop so I could do some work (although there was no Internet connection) and was able to watch a DVD as well. Mostly just sittin’ around waiting for the drugs to flow through.

I didn’t really feel any side affects from the drug other than getting a bit flushed once in a while and was able to drive home on my own. The rest of the week we had a family vacation planned where we were heading to up-state New York (the Finger Lakes region) with all our kids and my brother-in-law’s family. Because my treatment took a bit longer than we thought, we had to pack Wed morning and that wore me out a bit more than I expected. I usually do the driving, but this time, I let Melanee drive about half the way. Its not as easy as I thought to give up that kind of control.

We got to New York just fine, relaxed the next day or so and I didn’t really have any issues with the chemo other than being a lot more tired than I would have expected. Friday, we took the crew up to Niagara Falls and all the walking around started making my feet and ankles really sore. It was now that I started getting tingling in my finger tips, so chalk one more up for the side effects.

The kicker came Friday night when it started to rain, and rain, and RAIN! I got up early Saturday morning and started to pack up all our gear. By the time we had everything loaded in the trailer, I was completely soaked and could really only drive about half-way home. I was really beat and at that point some nausea was starting to sneak through and needed to just rest. By the time we got home, I was really whipped and told everyone that I needed to lay down. The next thing I know, I’m sound asleep and didn’t wake up until the next morning.

Sunday was a good rest day and I got caught up really well on my rest. It was a great day talking with the girls (Mallory had to leave that morning, but we still had the rest of the group around). Having the kids and granddaughter around has probably been the best therapy there is. Its really incredible how much having family close by can build your spirits. I still get a bit nauseated, but I have drugs that help fix that. I still can’t eat a lot, but I’m maintaining my weight. Overall, things are going well.

I’ll keep you all posted on my progress here, but don’t be shy about sending me an Email or picking up the phone and giving me a call. And as always THANK YOU for your prayers and well wishes.

Well, the sofware is installed and working, the domain name is up and running, I guess the only thing left now is to start making entries here (and Yes, I know the site is REALLY ugly, but I’ll work on that as time goes along).

I really want to start adding entries that will keep allmy friends and family up-to-date on how I’m doing and how I’m progressing toward beating my Ugly Beast.

If you have questions, as always, send me an Email and I’ll do my best to respond.

I also want to add a big THANK YOU to all those who are supporting me out there; your thoughts, prayers, and well-wishes are some of the best therapy around. You have no idea how powerful those thoughts are when my heart is the darkest. Thank you.

… Kevin